Welcome to My World! Navigating Travel, Family, and Military Life as a Queer Black Air Force Pilot

As I sit down to spill the tea on my life, I can’t help but feel a mix of excitement and mild panic—kind of like that first time I flew solo in an Air Force jet but with fewer buttons to press. With over 14 years of service, I’ve soared through the skies, stumbled through foreign languages, and eaten some truly questionable street food, all of which have left a lasting mark (and maybe a scar or two). I’m also a proud queer woman, happily married to my wife for over a decade—though she deserves a medal for putting up with me—and a mom to our sassy, snack-demanding 4-year-old. This blog gives you a peek into my life, a delightful cocktail of travel, family, and the unique lifestyle of an Air Force family.

Life as an Officer in the Air Force

One of my first bosses in a military unit told me, "The Air Force pays you to be an Officer; you just get to fly as a bonus." I have had the privilege of flying various aircraft, each mission requiring both technical skill and mental agility. For instance, flying the C-17 Globemaster transports essential supplies and personnel in crucial operations, highlighting my commitment to serve and protect. While I felt like a glorified bus driver, I loved the training flights where we got to fly at low altitudes through the mountains near Travis Air Force Base. On the other hand, piloting the RQ-4 Global Hawk keeps watch of our adversaries and provides senior leaders the intelligence they need to make critical, strategic decisions, which is super important not nearly as exciting.

Flying is exhilarating—until you realize the real turbulence is navigating social dynamics at work. As a Black woman, I’ve mastered the art of “code switching,” which is basically like being a linguistic chameleon—one moment it’s “Yes, sir,” and the next it’s, “Girl, let me tell you!” It’s a skill that every person of color in predominantly white spaces knows all too well. The Air Force does promote diversity, but let’s be real: I’ve adjusted my “radio frequency” more times than I’ve adjusted an altimeter. On the bright side, this adaptability has made me a pro at resilience and spotting someone who’s still figuring out where they belong—like younger Airmen nervously fumbling their way through their own identities. My goal? To help them feel less like an outsider and more like part of the squad—one awkward “Are we dappin' or shaking hands?” moment at a time.

Balancing Family and Career

Family is the center of my universe—and also the source of most of my sleep deprivation. Like any military family, we’ve learned that kids and routine changes go together about as well as toddlers and white couches. Education is its own Olympic sport, but my wife and I have built a loving home for our daughter, where “routine” means packing for yet another adventure and Googling “how to childproof a hotel room.”

The military gives family life its own plot twists. Every move is like an episode of House Hunters: Global Edition, except instead of marble countertops, we’re just happy if there’s space for our luggage. Every adventure shapes my daughter’s view of the world—and her preference for snacks. She’s growing up immersed in diversity, with a Korean daycare, Korean friends, and a love for Korean food. Chopsticks? Still a work in progress. For now, she’s wielding them like tiny drumsticks, but hey, progress is progress.

Traveling the World

Traveling has always ignited my passion, and as I approach the final years of my military career, my eagerness to explore grows, but it's gotten tougher with a kid in tow. With about six years left before retirement (2,043 days but who's counting), I am determined to make the most of every opportunity. In my time in the military, I've visited 25 countries (mostly voluntarily), and each trip offers new insights into different cultures.

The beauty of travel lies in the connections made along the way. I’ve met inspiring individuals, from fellow aviators in Japan, Thailand, Italy, Germany, and Spain to the sweetest translators in the Korean Army to incredible teachers in Benin, each interaction enhancing my understanding of the world.

Me and the RQ-4D, NATO Hawk, Naval Air Station Sigonella, Sicily.

Embracing the Journey Ahead

While I love the thrill and chaos of military life—because who doesn’t enjoy moving every few years and learning to pack a house like a Tetris champion—I also know that I need to prepare for retirement. I’m lucky the military lets me “retire” young, but let’s be real, the transition from saluting to figuring out civilian business-casual is going to be... a journey. What will I do post-service? Where will our travels take us? Will I finally figure out how LinkedIn works? The unknown is intimidating, but at least it’s not as scary as forgetting to sign a travel voucher.

Being a queer Black Air Force pilot has been a wild ride of resilience, love, and enough adventure to fill a Netflix mini-series. My family and I treasure it all, from navigating military life to trying (and failing) to master the art of blending in with new cultures. I hope my story resonates with travelers, military folks, and anyone who’s ever stared at a map and thought, “Let’s go somewhere new.” Here’s to many more miles traveled, memories made, and TSA lines survived!